Have you come across a book about a woman who is accused of killing 3 men in span 6 months, all former lovers and wanted to start cooking? No? I have.
There are two types of book reviews: one covers what happened—the plot, genre, themes, how it made you feel. The other explores how the book changed the compass within, the fabric of your mind, the fundamentals of your being. This is both. Without spoilers.
Manako Kaji is the prominent character in Butter—a woman accused of killing three men within six months, all former lovers. She's said to have seduced lonely businessmen with her home cooking. The major point of discussion in the courtroom and media is around the topic of how a woman like Kaji, who is not even pretty and is slightly overweight, can seduce 3 wealthy, elite men. (ughh! Misogyny)
The media questioned: Why would a man, no matter how lonely he was, find her desirable?
Rika Machida, a 30s-something journalist in Shumei Weekly, who is intrigued by this case and thinks she can spin a different angle. Rika constantly tries to interview Kaji, but she refuses to talk to any “female” journalist. Until one day Rika ended her letter with
P.S. I’m really curious about the recipe for the Beef stew that you made for Mr. Yamamura ( Kaji’s last victim) . I’d be delighted if you’d share it with me.
Conversation begin between two opposite characters
Kaji loves to cook elaborate meals, has multiple lovers, has major commitment issues, is a food blogger, loves exquisite dining experiences, and is a huge material girl.
Rika, a hardworking, passionate, workaholic, barely has time to cook or relies on convenience store or take out food.
During these conversations to understand Kaji's psyche, Rika starts cooking elaborate meals with butter and gains weight. Each meal peels away a layer of Kaji's life, bringing fundamental changes to Rika's own—and eventually, to mine.
It's a slow read. It doesn't hold you in a chokehold or demand to be devoured in one sitting. I spent three and a half months with it, and it's been a year since I finished. It has changed everything within. I somewhat relate to Rika’s life lack of time and barely eating properly and Kaji adoration, elaborate recipes made me curious about cooking and eating well. I’ve taken out time and cooked several meals as an act of love.
Asao's Butter has a deceptive cover and description though. It poses itself as thriller but central theme to it is food, freshly cooked warm meals, and everything that stems from it’s presence and lack of it. There is isolation, loneliness, gender roles, body image issues, friendship, childhood wounds, self-care and togetherness. Accepting oneself as they are. All of it stems from food.
There's a moment between Rika and her colleague Shinoi (other reporter) that stayed with me
Rika: It seems like you can cook, but you don’t. it is waste.
Shinoi: If it’s just for myself, I can’t be bothered to cook good and healthy food.
Rika: I think not taking care of yourself is an act of violence
Towards the end of 3 and half months. What I realized is.
I didn't love myself enough. I was knee-deep in an act of violence. I relied heavily on the same meals or whatever I could fix quickly. Eating at all—let alone eating well—was always a secondary thought. Deciding to cook, and being in kitchen not knowing how to make things, still not looking up for recipe, just instinct and memories has made me confident in my choices, made me comfortable with “not knowing” how it’s going to turn out. I've deliciously adapted a learn-on-the-go mindset.
what I’ve learned from all the cooking Food is beyond calories and protein. Food is an exploration, a way back to memories, Warm meals are central to love, lack of love, lack of time, will to live. The book represents meals as form of care, affection and attention one can give to themselves and their loved ones. How having enough time to prepare it, is a privilege limited to some.
Cooking is fun if it’s once in while event but when Daily meal is chores. it’s either unpaid job for one gender which is said to have more nurturing instincts or underpaid job for underprivileged. neither is respected enough. It’s simple truth.
you need to cook for yourself all 3 meals at home for month or so, to learn how did our mother managed to cook before 7 in the morning and to respect others people who work for you, to know loving yourself is everyday effort, for better companionship with your current or future partner, to know the role of nurturer and provider is fluid, you can takes turns on it. Turns out you don’t need a plot twist for character development, you can start mundane everyday task like cooking.
when you're done with doing it for yourself you can invite your friends for dinner. know that you can cherish others only when you are overflowing with love. Life is suffering and our time here is limited. The least we do is cook a warm meal for ourselves and people we love, bring everyone together to hold space and time which is almost always slipping
Leaving you with Anthony Bourdain words
You need love.
Hopefully it’s love for the people you’re cooking for, because the greatest and most memorable meals are as much about who you are with as they are about what you are. But love for what you’re doing, and for the ingredients you’re doing it with, will more than suffice. You must enjoy the fact that you are nourishing them, pleasing them, giving the best you’ve got.
P.S. I’m always interested in people and their food stories. I have some very specifics questions for you. what was your fav childhood meal? what's your fav meal now? what was your usual tiffin menu? when was the last time you cooked for yourself and what was it?
You can either comment or reply to this mail. I promise I will make time for you <3
Warmth
Diwyani
I love this!!!!
koi mere ko bhi aise dinner party mein invite karwao!!!
(Bdw loved the article)